Rule 1 :
Be flexible (set boundaries in your own mind if you
wish, but be very sensitive as to how you relay those
Rule 2 : Build relationships - Trust is critical with
any child, but many kids with PDA consider themselves to
be adults and equals to their parents, so building trust
is even more critical, and difficult.
Rule 3 : Offer simple choices - too many choices create
a new set of demands - which is counter-productive...
Rule 4 : Choose words carefully - words matter - very
much to people on the spectrum, and will be dissected
and investigated almost scientifically...
Rule 5 : Use humour - humour is a great level playing
Rule 6 : Remain calm - this is going to be extremely
hard at times... but the rewards are worth it
Rule 7 : Reduce demands - as many as you can... some are
for safety, but even those must be dressed up as
something fun, a helpful 'game', etc..
Rule 8 : Plan ahead where possible - avoid sudden
changes to plan and unexpected diversions from a steady
Rule 9 : Pick your battles - some things matter, and
some don't, so be prepared to let the big stuff 'go'
unless it is dangerous, and don't sweat the small stuff.
Rule 10 : Very important to look after yourself in order
to look after the child
Rule 11 : Realise that bad behaviour is usually anxiety
Rule 12 : Try not to take things personally
Rule 13 : Learn your child's triggers
Rule 14 : Don't punish anxiety - that makes it worse...
Rule 15 : Use calming strategies - Like fidget toys,
water, calm space, counting down, silence, music, art,
Rule 16 : Try reducing, or even eliminating all
Rule 17 : Use Post-it notes, or whatever works for you,
to remind yourself of what to do, and not do.
and others, for many
of these ideas/rules/guidelines